Trish Lawson's Blog
God is good…all the time; and All the time…God is good. We hear that week after week whether it is during Children’s Moment or one of the Pastors speaking to it. It is ingrained in us. For me, and I promise I am not lying to you when I say I have never heard that statement before coming here!
So, after a few dozen times of hearing it once we started coming here, I would notice myself saying it at different times outside of a church setting. For example, when I was recovering from the many surgeries on my foot prior to my final surgery, I would be having an “ok” day vs a “great” day. I would say to anyone who asked, “How are you today?” My reply was always, “can’t complain, God is good, all the time!”
Was I lying to make that person feel good? Not in the least! Regardless of the day I was having, I was here, in the moment, because of God and His love and belief in me and my reasons for being.
We all have a reason as to why we are here. We may not always know that reason but, I can tell you that one day when you least expect it, it will become clear.
I recently shared some very personal memories from my past with my Wednesday morning Bible Study group during one of our study discussions. For me, it was another level of healing from a very sad large portion of my childhood.
I was bullied from the time I was a kindergartener through my first year of high school… every single year. It was usually about my weight, the brand of clothes I wore, you name it they found a way to use it against me. I went from a funny outgoing child to a quiet introverted recluse. Coming home from the bus stop after a round of bullying on the ride home, I’d wait until I was in the house with the door shut before I burst in to tears, pull myself together and then go about my night so that my parents didn’t know (for fear it would make the bulling worse).
It was in my freshman year of high school that a pretty pivotal moment happened. I was passed a note in a class by someone and when I opened it, it said; “why are you even still here?” (There was more to this note but for the sake of being graphic, I will let you read into what the 1st line of it alluded to). I went home that day, quieter than ever, got into the house, up to my room, shut the door and said out loud; “Ok, good question. Why am I even still here?” In that moment I was fully expecting to be having a rhetorical conversation with myself, but someone else was listening, someone bigger than I could ever imagine. It wasn’t that exact moment or even that day for that matter, but in the coming days, weeks, months and years where I gained this sense of, I am important, and I do belong here. I made the choice at the end of freshman year to enroll in another high school where it was a much more diverse and welcoming pool of students and faculty that I fit right into.
Did I think God was good, all the time during those formative years? Honestly, I think all I was doing was figuring out how to survive and avoid another humiliating day, God wasn’t on my radar…but I was on His!
I am the person I am today because of what I went through and what God saw for me that I could not see at the time. I am able to be that compassionate mom and teacher and friend because I know what the flip side of that can and will do. So, is God good? Yes, all the time.
In a world where we can be anything, let’s be kind.
All my love always,
Trish
